Dinna tell oor lass

'Dom'
'Aye'
'Oor lass is gannin' af it'
'Why,like'
'Some tur rag at wurk telt a it was twenty grand tae clim Iverest,... each!'
'Give ower, twenty grand tae flee tae Neparl, gerra taxi tae the moonten an a taxi back,give ower!'
'Nur man, ye hav to shell oot for passes n that, like'
'Passes fur wat,theres nae rides oop the moonten,theres nae trips or watta park. Talk shite!'
'Am ganning doon the metro tate Tammy Cooks tae sort it oot!'

TWO HOURS LATER

'Is Parl in pet?'
'Na,he's took the bairn doon tae the X Factor ardition.'
'X Factor'
'Aye'
'Whaffor, she canna sing'
'Aye she can,ya cheeky how-wer ,an' besides she has the reet image'
'The reet image,whadya mean, the reet image?'
'Why designer gear 'n that, she's got lurds. Shill no haf owt unless its fro' the Royal Quays. Some stuffs anly got thurty pissent aff. A paid fowerty fower quid for a' xmas box an' it was arnly a pair o' troosers an' a jackit'
'Alreet ,but tell a when she's got some coin she can tak us arl to Ebeezer'
'Nae probs, shill pay for us arl,arl inclusive'.
'Tell Parl tae ring us when he gets back'

FIVE HOURS LATER

'Dom'
'Parl'
'Arv juss gettin' back. Sivven hoors in the queue. A ran oot o' cans haf way, the bairn had to gan up tae Benwell shops tae gerrus mair.Ya nar wat, two poond for fower Fosters,two poond! Am sure th' thowt it was a bairn an' ripped us off!'
'Did she get ower the ardition'
'Aye, shis in the last hundred thoosand noo'.
'Anywher' , arv been arl ower the metro trying tae gerra cheapie tae Iverest, like. Best a can manage is sivven grand apiece'
'Whyaye, ar yeh fa real ,like? Sivven grand forra plane ride an a taxi'.
'So are ye bottlin, like'.
'Nur,ar' yeh'
'Nur'
'Why dinna tell oor lass, arl hev tae scratch aboot fer sivven grand'.
'While ye scratchin',see if yer can dig oot fowerteen grand, 'cus am still skint af me last yers season ticket'.
'Bollocks,we need wor season tickets anall'.
'Am ganna haf tae gerra nother credit card oot'.
'Alreet then, we still ganning?'
'Whyaye, geordies on tour, "We are the Geordies , the Geordie moonten men, An we are mental , 'n we are mad,We are the highest fitba' supporters,the worl' has eva had'.
'Dinnit forget mind,dinna tell oor lass'
'Nor'
Nae hintin' on'
'Nor'
'Yer said that afor 'n yer telt 'er aboot gan tae 'Fur yur eyes anly'.
'A had tae, A wis stinkin' o' lasses porfume when ar got yam'
'Yer coulda mad summat up'
'A did, a telt a that yeh picked a lass up afta she fell ower mortal, n' when a helped yeh hoy 'er in a taxi a porfume rubbed on me airm'.
'Thats alreet then,a telt yer lass that some lass in the taxi queue squoited porfume on asel' 'n it blew ower on the wind'
'Yer see, noo the' both na wer' lee-ers,wer canna even gerra lie that we can bowth rememmer!'
'See ye the morn'
'Aye see ye the morn'.