We ganning up that moonten! Strite up!

Last summer just afor the Interturtur started two marrahs 'Wor Dom and Parl' were doon the Toon for the three curry challenge.

The day starts at 11 bells wi' a few pints and plate o' curry wi' rice or a nan breed.

Then the lads and tha pals have a few mair jars (minimum one pint an hoor,nee cider or otha poofs drinks) and then at 6 at neet the lads have tha second curry (wi rice or nan breed o' course).'

Unless yer gay you've gotta ha' a vindaloo minimum, (or a phal if ya think ya hard.)

After the second curry the lads hit the quayside forra few mair pints, an some o' tha' absinthe an red bull to keep ya breath fresh.

Thurs nee dancing allowed but ya can tak te lasses unless y' married.

If yer married then yer just perv at them, and dinnit forget to think on your lasses mates might be watching yer.

At kicky oot time yer find a curry house thats still oppen, an' order yer last curry (wi rice or a nan breed).

Once yerv eat that yerv passed the three curry challenge and yer can gan to the Casino.

Anyway last summer Dom and Parl were ganning yam from the casino when the both started cracking on aboot putting a toon army flag on top o' the Angel o' the North.

'What aboot if we put it even higher and stuck it on the new wimblees ruf' , said Dom.

'Or on top o' the Eiffel Toowah, or on that place in Jormany where the Hollywood sign is'.

'Thats not very high, its arnly a titchy clim' up ',said Parl, 'The coppers could gan up in the ca' and tak it doon.'

'An anywer' Hollywoods not in Jormany its somewher' wher' the arl speak inglish, Benidorm or Salou or summit'

' The frogs would tak it doon from the Eiffel Toowah as weel.'

'We need a place where they cannot get to too easy'

'Cat Deeleys knickers, naebody can get there' said Dom.

'Na, its got to be out o' the way where naebody lives'

'Crawcrook!'

Nar, where naebody wants to live'

'Crawcrook!'

'What about a git high moonten!'

'I thowt it was a bit cauld up the moontens,n' slippy!'

'Dinna be a soft shite ,we can tak oor works fleecies up wi' us and a haf bottle o' jacky D'

'Gan on then lets get a git big flag wi' Toon army an Shearer on it and we'll purit on the top of a git high moonten!'

'Reet,but am not gannin the morn, am takking oor lass t' Matalan for new sheets an she wants a sarnie makker from the Argos.'

'Champion ,yer can get some o' them cheap tracky borroms to wear on the moonten ' cos am not wearin' me adidas case th' get dorty. If yer in the Argos gerra catalogue an see if thav got a cheap tent. We can tak it back wi'in ten days if wer sharp!'

'Am not kippin up a moonten mind, the footys kicking off agen soon so we ganna hav' te gan up an doon strite away, wi' just a can or two on the top while we stick oor flag up'

'Alreet theres nae time spare like, yeh gan to the club the morn and ask that brainy blowk on the door which is the biggest moonten anywer in the worl', an weel dae that 'un.'

'I naa what the biggest is, its that white un whats in the fillims,.... Iverest. Am not that thick,I took fower exams'.

Ya took remedial maths 'n inglish, 'n woodwork 'n metalwork and ya failed them a' so dinna act that ya Frank Einstein ,but Iverest it is then. Now am ganning for a slash, see ya Sunday neet in the club to sort oor travel.'

'Aye six o clock and dinna forget them trackies,and get new sannies an some footy socks to tuck in.....'

'Whee do ya think I am like, am not mad o' money, I work for the coonsel a dinna own it!'

'Aye , arl gi' ya haf man,dinna panic'

'See ya the morn'

'Aye see ya the morn'

'Is Pete oot'

'Na he's stoppin' in,their lass winna gi' him a pass oot'

'What aboot Bowman?'

'Na, ses he's meeting their lass if sh' gets a homework done.'

'Areet then just me, thoo,Gav,Hepp,big red,Brucy,Smithy, and Jonny mackem'

'See ya the morn'

Aye, see ya the morn'