Its anly snur!

'Dom'
'Aye'
'Where ye at,its haf past liven, thers got two pints stannin'.
'Are ye at the club, like?'
'Whay aye,its fillin' up, tha wants tae hurry on, 'cos theres nae seats in the bay winder alriddy'
'its oor lass man, she come in at quatter past fower full o' drink,and she reckons she wis purldancin' in Buffurlur Jurs.'
'Theres nae purl in Buffurlur Jurs, just the bull'
'A telt 'er that, but she waddent have it.Anywhur' she reckons this gadgy wis buying a shots all neet an' said she lurked like Pamela Andison!'
'Mair like Clive Andison she means!'
'Thas worra telt 'er. Anywher she wis that p*ssed she wok us up three times forra shag'.
'Did the bairns not hear yer?'
'Nur, th' stay at thur Nanas on a Frida','cos she divvent gan oot wi' 'er gammy leg'
'Are ya cummin' oot or what, thers arlsoughts ganning on in the club aboot las' neet'.
'Like what, like?'
'Arl tell ye when y shif' yer ass doon 'ere!'

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

'Hurr - ray, I thowt Stevie Wunda wis drivin' ye doon, wheres the been?'
'Nivver mind that, oor lass was still p*ssed, it wis like being in the walza at the town moor drivin' doon ower them speed ramps. A said to 'er just sla doon ter thetty, but she waddent lissen'.

' Yer just missed a treat,haf pint Harry cum in wi' his new boyfriend Nathan. Nathan eh, Nathan'
'Where d'ya gera name like Nathan,like?'
'Why he's a shirt lifta thur'
'Oh aye'
'Anywher' that young un who sells the blueys, Jimmy the Perv, their lass carled ther' bairn Brandon'
'Brandon?'
'Aye she wis from Durram'
'Good jab she wissent fra' Battle Hill oor Coogate'
'Anywher' arv bowt a buk af Amurzun forra penny, cost us fower poond powstage mind'
'What yer bowt a buk fer?'
'Its arl aboot Iverest, ye kna', tells ye arl the facts and figurs'
'Like what'
'Like sum o' them real propa climmers tak weeks tae clim up, an' a lurds gi' up 'cos ther' cauld'.
'Give ower man, last New Yers ar wurked arund arl neet wi' nae shirt an, did me nae herm what -so -ivver'.
'I thowt ye ended up in 'ospittle'.
'Aye, 'cos a gang o' lads pelted 'us wi' haf bricks, ar wassent cauld'.
'Or aye,'cos the runnin' awa' would keep yer hot'.
'Ther' wass lurds o' them'.
' Haf o' them wer' lasses'
'Ther' can still hoy bricks thur'.
' Anywher, gettin back to the moonten, a lorra them climmers have beards to keep the cauld off tha face. Shall we gra' beards like?'
Nae way, Ar might look like Graham Sooness!'
'You dinna want that then '
Na, arl get pelted wi' bricks agen'.
'Get the roond in'
'Alreet, am a gettin' just oors?'
'Aye, just get fower for us two'......